Top 5 Episodes of the Ted TV Series
By Jay Brown
The Ted series, created by Seth McFarlane, stands out as one of the best recent comedies. The show follows talking teddy bear Ted in the '90s, after his days of fame, helping his best friend John Bennett survive the rough years of high school. John, Ted, and the entire madcap Bennett family bring laughs throughout. Grab your thunder buddy and let's review the show's top episodes.
5. Subways, Bicycles, and Automobiles (S1 episode 4)
It's Halloween in the Bennett household, and Ted, John, and John's cousin Blair are sitting watching scary movies. Blair scares Ted into being her designated driver while she goes to a party. While Ted is at the party, he gets drunk and crashes Blair’s car, and Ted misses out on the tradition of hitting trick-or-treaters with eggs. This episode is filled with references to horror and pop culture, with the shows playing in the background, such as one of The Simpsons' Treehouse of Horror episodes. And the twist at the end of the professor being obsessed with Ted and not Blair, and dressing as a bear, is hilarious. Overall, a great episode to watch at Halloween, filled with laughs.
4. Susan Is the New Black (S2 Episode 7)
When a cop finds John and Ted's weed during a traffic stop, John's mother, Susan, takes the fall and must spend 10 days in jail. While she survives life on the inside, the family must survive life outside without her. This episode is particularly interesting as it makes you realise how much your mother truly does for you that might be taken for granted. Seeing how the family acts while Susan is gone is hilarious. The house is completely a mess as John's father, Matty, Ted, and John have no idea how to clean. Blair protests helping, and Ted gets Stuck in the dryer and becomes a little puff ball. Another highlight of this episode is when Matty finds out what happened to Susan, Ted, and John; they make a run for it while Matty catches them and beats John with Ted. There’s something about a man being hit by a sentient teddy bear that’s comedic gold. Ted being hurled as an American football and hitting John is also just amazing.
3. Just Say Yes (S1 Episode 1)
Matty forces Ted to get out of the house and go to school with John, and tries to get expelled, getting mixed up with marijuana along the way. The Ted series came out of the park swinging with this first episode, firmly establishing the comedic tone and style. A talking teddy bear in a high school setting is so abstract and funny. One of the most memorable moments from this episode is when John and Ted decide to partake in smoking weed for the first time. John and Ted come out of their room, in suits, high as the sky, walking down the stairs while Low Rider by War plays. The scene feels like an homage to the classics like Cheech and Chong in the funniest way possible. Also, a Teddy bear taking drugs will not be funny.
2. The Sword and the Stoned (S2 Episode 5)
John realises he needs to do some extracurricular activities for his college application, so John and Ted decide to audition for the school play. Matty and Susan also get part-time jobs at Dunkin' Donuts. As part of Ted's audition, he sings the theme from ‘Adventures of the Gummy Bears’, an obscure callback to an old 80s Disney cartoon. It makes for an iconic scene and comes out of nowhere. After getting the parts of two guards in the play, John has last-minute stage fright, and Blair gives the pair weed brownies to calm them down, later realizing they accidentally had Mushrooms in them and not weed. John and Ted start tripping on stage, Ted asks for his line, and the director says you have no line and Ted improvises, “ALF, you can’t eat the cat. It’s Christmas,” as John panics and yells, “They’re all gonna know we’re on drugs!” The episode shows John and Ted's pure stupidity and why that gets in the way of them being normal and achieving greatness.
Honourable mention – Loud night
This episode is about Matty's childhood toy truck coming to life. It contrasts the politically left-wing Blair and right-wing Matty, with the toy truck backing Matty in every argument and delivering offensive jokes. Ted also believes he is Jesus.
1. Dungeons and Dealers (S2 Episode 3)
A weed shortage forces John, Ted, and Blaire to complete a dealer's Dungeons and Dragons game; unaware that the prize is a bag of weed, Matty and Susan join the quest. This episode puts the characters in a fantasy setting, cutting back and forth between the real world and the fantasy world. The costumes are top tier, but specifically, Matty is given the worst haircut, a bowl cut with a bald head on top. Showing these characters navigate this world, constantly dropping jokes and observations between the game and the real world, it’s an extremely creative episode. The monster at the end being defeated by Susan’s kindness is funny and heartwarming. Matty and Susan are spending time with John to keep him away from drugs while playing a game where they get drugs by winning, which is hilarious. Definitely the best episode of the series.