At some point in your early 20s, the question sneaks up on you: am I behind? It might hit you while scrolling past someone’s post-graduation job announcement, engagement photos, pregnancy announcement or carefully curated “life update” posts. Suddenly, it feels like everyone else has a five-year plan whilst you’re still googling how to cook rice properly.

This quiet panic is more common than we think. There’s a subtle but powerful pressure to have life sorted by your early/mid-twenties: graduate, get the dream job, fall in love, buy a house, save money, make friends, have hobbies, look great whilst balancing it all. No big deal, right?

Except it is a big deal. Because that timeline? It’s made up. It’s a social construct fuelled by comparison culture and Instagram filters. It’s leaving an entire generation feeling like they’re falling behind in a race no one actually agreed to run.

The truth is, no one has it all figured out by 25. Some people might have one part of their life looking polished, but behind the scenes, we’re all just trying to find our footing. Your friend with the fancy graduate scheme might be struggling with imposter syndrome. The one in a picture-perfect relationship might secretly feel lost. Everyone’s highlight reel hides something.

Life doesn’t unfold in neat, linear lines. Some people star careers at 18 whilst others change paths at 30. Some fall in love at uni, some not until their 40s. There’s no gold star for ticking boxes early, and no shame in taking your time.

What’s more, “figuring it out” is a myth. No one reaches a magical point where everything clicks into place forever. You’ll keep evolving – your goals, your values, your definition of success will all change as you grow. The real work isn’t racing to get it all done, it’s learning to be okay with the uncertainty along the way.

If you’re in your early twenties and feeling behind, pause and ask: behind what? Whose timeline are you trying to follow? Chances are, it’s not one you chose, it’s one that was handed to you by society, social media, or your own inner critic.

Instead of chasing someone else’s version of success, focus on building a life that feels right for you. Explore, experiment, mess up, learn. It’s okay not to have a dream job yet. It’s okay if you’re still figuring out what makes you happy. You are not a finished product, you’re a work in progress. That’s where all the growth happens.

So next time you feel like you’re lagging behind, remind yourself: your path is not a delay, it’s just yours. And there’s no deadline on becoming who you’re meant to be.

Am I behind? The quiet pressure to have everything figured out by 25